


Clouded Thoughts

by toomanyshipstosail



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-08-10 08:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7837084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomanyshipstosail/pseuds/toomanyshipstosail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Directly after the assault on Starkiller base, Poe tries to process his emotions.  Poe/Finn.  Light angst, introspective character one shot. Special guest at the end!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clouded Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> My first Star Wars fic! Well, first published, that is. Thanks for reading, and I'm always open to suggestions!

He took the long way back to his quarters. He was more than exhausted, and had every right to be, but something told him to take the long way around. 

He stopped by his X-Wing one more time, doing a cursory post-flight inspection. He had already completed a full inspection; there was no sense in another, but he felt the need to stay busy. 

He circled the craft at least three times, finding nothing. He sighed, with nothing left to distract himself, he figured it was time to retire for the day. He started back towards the shoebox that he called home for the time being.

It was then that he caught sight of an old T-65 with more carbon scoring than paint. It was nestled amongst the Black Squadron fighters, and it stuck out like a sore thumb. He noted the red stripe that bisected the fuselage, but couldn’t place where he’d seen it before.

He shrugged internally, thinking: _Where do I know that from? I know I’ve seen it, but where? Regardless, how did it land in the middle of my squadron?_

He started toward the unidentified, and uninvited fighter. He thought that getting closer to it would help jog his memory of where he’d seen it before. He stopped mid stride, and decided against it.

“Clearly you’re not firing on all engines Dameron; time to hang it up for the day,” he thought with a shake of his head. Turning away, he went back to his original course, his quarters. 

After what seemed like thousands of klicks, he arrived at his door. While entering his access code, BB-8 rolled right into his legs. The droid proceeded to back up and roll into him again, clearly urging him into his room. 

“Alright, alright little buddy. I’m going!” Poe hopped out of the way, and let the little droid in first. He entered, and closed the door behind him. He sat on the corner of his bunk and had started to pull his boots off when the droid inquired about Finn.

“No, I don’t know how he’s doing.” His shoulders slumped. It was the first time he was acknowledging to himself that Finn was seriously injured. 

Another series of beeps.

He sighed, “I don’t have an ETA for when you can see him again, I’m sorry. The doc said it could be a few hours, he needs his rest.”

A low mournful tone came from the droid, his little domed head dipping towards the ground slightly. 

“Yeah, me too buddy.”

Poe didn’t know what was worse, his own feelings, or BB-8’s. Somehow the droid’s distress brought it all crushing down on him. This was why he wanted to keep busy. He didn’t want to think about Finn laying unconscious in the med-bay. 

BB-8 had said something, but he didn’t catch it. "Huh?“ The droid did his best imitation of a huff, and repeated himself. 

"How would you know? You don’t have a nose! I doubt I smell _that_ bad.” 

While the droid giggled (trying to ease his looming black cloud, he supposed), Poe dragged himself up and shuffled toward the refresher. Spending the day engaged in dogfights and flying into the center of the Starkiller base would cause anyone to sweat. The droid was just looking after him, as he had a nagging tendency to do.

His quarters were one of the few that had a private ‘fresher attached, and he probably needed to thank Senator Organa for that luxury. 

He stopped at the door and looked over his shoulder at BB, who had dropped his head and was wobbling a little to and fro.

“Hey,” his head popped up instantly, “I told the doc to tell me the minute he started waking up, so if they do, let me know, and we’ll go together, okay?” He tossed his personal com to BB-8, which he caught midair. BB made an affirmative beep, and focused in on it. It looked to Poe that he was willing them to comm sooner. 

He turned the water warmer than was probably prudent, but, it helped ease the ache, both physically and mentally. He let the water cascade over him, and he got lost in the dark cloud that was no longer looming over him.

He didn’t know what his true feelings for Finn were. He’d only just met him. It was crazy to think that there was something more, but, Poe couldn’t shake the thoughts of him from his head. 

When he came to him about saving Rey, he could see the desperation to save someone, to save a friend. With no regard to his own safety, Finn went to rescue the girl. If Poe was being honest with himself, it was something he personally would have, and has, done. Maybe that’s what it was. 

He could sense that Finn was a kindred spirit. In all honesty, that’s what made him go with him during their botched escape. He could sense the sincerity of wanting to help Poe, because it was the right thing to do. 

Poe had really looked forward to getting to know Finn more.

When the _Falcon_ landed, almost unnoticed during the cheers and excitement, Poe knew something was wrong. He wasn’t sure of what exactly what, but he could feel it emanate from the dilapidated YT freighter. 

He looked in the direction of the craft, he saw Senator Organa and who he assumed was Rey embracing. Then what he saw next almost brought him to his knees. Chewbacca was carrying someone down the ramp, not just someone, _Finn_.

 _Finn_. He knew he had no right to think of him that way, but, he just couldn’t re-route his brain. He felt he needed to protect him, to be there for him, to be with him. 

By the time he reached the _Falcon_ , he was being placed on a stretcher, off to the docs and med-droids. He started to follow after them, but Senator Organa gently grabbed his elbow, and looked him square in the eye. 

“I understand your desire to follow, Poe, but, we have business to attend to. He’ll be alright.”

Poe looked once more as the stretcher turned out of sight, into the depths of the base. He still couldn’t ignore his desire to follow, to be sure Finn was well taken care of. 

Reluctantly, he turned to face the senator, understanding that his duties came first. "You’re right, ma'am. You’re always right.“ He sighed, and steeled himself for his debrief. 

The senator did not release his elbow, instead applying a gentle, but firm pressure to ground the pilot. "Poe, look at me, he’ll be alright.”

He met her eyes then, and knew that she was right. He could sense that Finn would be fine, but, he still had a nagging feeling that he was doing him a disservice by not spending every moment with him until he awoke. 

The next series of events blurred by for Poe; R2-D2 had come out of his wait-state, and it seemed the map was complete to find Luke Skywalker, Rey would go to him. Poe vaguely remembers going to the med-bay to verify that Finn was indeed alright. He was given assurances that he would be notified if anything happened.

He was then advised to go get some rest himself, like that was going to happen. This was when he decided to take the scenic route back to his quarters, better to be on the move, or doing something, rather than wasting the time thinking about his feelings and concerns over Finn. 

Feelings? He chortled at the thought. What was he, a teenager? What was there to sort out anyway?

Finn was handsome, no doubt. There’s more to life than good looks, but they sure don’t hurt any. 

Poe continued to feel the connection where they were similar. Finn would be the first to help someone if he could, and you could tell he was kind, and genuinely cared about the wellbeing of others.

The connection seemed more than that, it seemed that they were linked in their desires to make the galaxy a better place. 

“Ah, get it together Dameron. You just met the guy,” he chastised himself. He thumped his head on the wall of the shower a couple of times, and then just left it against the wall.

Clearly he was going crazy. Is that what this was? Had he gone on one too many insane, impossible to complete, only chance for millions to survive missions? That had to be it. There’s no other explanation. He didn’t feel crazy though. He felt pretty normal, albeit overly concerned about a guy he just met. 

He just didn’t know how to make sense of it. Maybe he was overdue for sleep. He could probably catch a few hours uninterrupted, but how would the quality of his sleep be? Maybe he could just hold up in the med-bay, wait for Finn to come around. Surely he could sleep a little there. Even better he could - -

The last thought was interrupted by a trumpeting sound coming from the living portion of his quarters. In his haste to get to BB-8, he almost slipped and wound up in the med-bay himself. He grabbed a towel and sprinted into the main area of his quarters.

“Is he awake? What did they say?!”

The pilot stopped in his tracks, not recognizing the man standing in front of him.

“How in the blazes did you get in here?!” His hand groped his thigh, where his blaster was always holstered, except when you’re in nothing but a towel. 

The droid started laughing, and took this moment to advise Poe he had a visitor from Senator Organa, and there was no reason to shoot the man. 

“Very funny. Since when do you just let people into my quarters, huh? I’m fairly certain you don’t normally do that.”

The droid’s tone turned indignant. 

“Well, next time I’ll be more clear that you aren’t to let anyone in here.” he rolled his eyes.

The droid had some witty response, but Poe chose to ignore it. He finally gave the man his full attention. He was older, probably around the Senator’s age. He had dark brown hair, and hazel eyes. He had the build of a pilot, and was wearing a simple black flight suit. He had no name, rank, or any designation on it. He smiled genially, with a hint of mischief. Poe knew at once that this was someone he could trust, he just didn’t know why.

The man cleared his throat, smiled again, and extended his hand. "Yes, well, Leia thought someone ought to come check up on you. I will be sure next time to make sure you’ve been notified, instead of barging in here.“ 

Poe shook his hand, still unsure of who the man was. He did, however, make a mental note that this man referred to the Senator as 'Leia’, and there were few people in the galaxy who were that bold. 

The man continued, "She sensed that you might be out of sorts, and for some reason, thought I was the best man for the job. We do share some things in common, so I guess I see it partially, but I’m not quite sure what her endgame is here.”

“And what do we have in common?”

“We have a propensity to fly into things that should not be flown into, shoot at it, blow it up, and fly back out.”

At that, Poe’s jaw dropped. He suddenly realized who was standing in front of him, and he was all too aware now that he was still in just a towel. 

“Wedge Antilles?” The man nodded. " _THE WEDGE ANTILLES_." He made no attempt to cover his surprise or awe. 

The elder man gave a small smile, and nod. "I didn’t think someone as young as you would know who I am.”

“Sir, you are unarguably one of, if not the best, fighter pilot in all the galaxy. Of course I know who you are. Sithspawn, that was your X-Wing! I thought it looked like an antique!”

“Hey! That is not an antique. She and I have been through a lot, She wears her age, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.”

“That did not come out the way I wanted it to, I’m sorry, sir, it’s just been a very long day.”

“Enough with the 'sir’. I am not your commanding officer, but more importantly it makes me feel old. I can imagine it has been a long day. I hear that you’re waiting on a status on your friend, Finn.”

“Yeah, I really should get over there to chec-”

“Nonsense. You need rest. I remember thinking I could conquer the galaxy, and sleep could wait. You’ve been through a lot recently, and you won’t do anyone any good if you’re falling over due to exhaustion. Leia wanted me to make sure you were coping with everything, but I can see you’re working through that, and only have Finn’s well being on the mind. Rest, and I give my word that I’ll keep an eye on him for you.”

“But I have so many questions! How did-”

Wedge raised his hand to stall the onslaught of questions, “Later. I assure you Mr. Dameron, I am not going anywhere anytime soon. Just know that you’re not in this alone, and there are people who have been exactly where you are in this moment. You’ll have your chance to ask anything you wish, but I think that should wait until you’ve slept, and put some clothes on.”

At that, Poe let out a nervous laugh, and could feel his shoulders lightening.

“I will notify you immediately if anything changes with Finn, but for now, take it easy. You’ve done the impossible, and have saved billions of lives. Rest easy knowing that you don’t have to go it alone.”

“You’ll really keep an eye on him for me?”

“A Corellian’s word is his word.” 

“Thank you. I can’t tell you how much that means to me, or how much he means to me, but thank you.”

Wedge gave a knowing nod. He turned, and left the room. 

Suddenly, Poe could see with clarity. It didn’t matter what his feelings were, all that mattered was that for the moment, Finn was okay. Poe didn’t bother putting on any clothes, he shut off the light, and fell asleep as soon as he lay on his bunk.


End file.
